Mental Health and Writing
Mental Health: Refers to our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act, and it influences how we handle stress, interact with others, and make choices. It's crucial at every stage of life, from childhood to adulthood.
The first time: I was almost five years old and I was at school. I was distracted by every little thing in the classroom. Every little detail stood out, and I had to look at everything.
Adapting in school and during rough times: As time went on, it was hard to focus on things in class. By the time I was in fourth grade, that’s when I was properly diagnosed and began getting special ed classes in school. The classes were helpful, but the students would tease and bully me about it. I know now that I took out this anger on my family and other kids. I had to learn how to turn my anger from trauma and pain into something better. (This is something I still work on as an adult.)
Each month was something new, like I had a new challenge to face each month. During the summers between school years, things were easier, but I grew lonely from not having friends. Before middle school, I looked like a teenager, which created harder mountains to face. Each month, my body would change and hate me (menstrual cycle). With early hormones came new problems, like depression and anxiety. Highs and lows would become more extreme and intense. I had to figure out what each emotion was and how to deal with it as a kid.
First time writing a book: The school I went to had a program where kids could write their picture book. It was amazing to make my own story and images. I still have copies of the books I wrote back then. I slowly develop my skills in reading and understanding what I read; learning disabilities are annoying. It takes me longer to read out loud than by myself because of dyslexia. I adapted by learning the alphabet in two different ways: the normal way versus the way I see the letters.
High school years: The first day of my freshman year in high school, I had an overwhelming feeling of weight on me. During this time, I was trying to fit in anyway possible. I think this is went I truly started the negative self-talk. It was hard not wanting to charge how I looked, like people pleasing. I was struggling with suicidal ideations and thoughts during this time. Some days were good, and I learned a lot, but my bad days would be filled with numbness and depression.
My sophomore year was smoother, and I slowly developed my love of storytelling. I also started reading Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe, both were extremely mind-blowing. During this time, I was experiencing sharp pains in my chest, and I learned that they were anxiety attacks. As a kid, I did see some professional therapists and psychologists, but I didn’t completely trust or understand everything going on. I turned to music and writing to pour out any overwhelming feelings I had at the time. I slowly made friends, but the friendships wouldn’t last.
By my junior year, I wanted to figure out who I was as a person. I had some friends from classes and after-school activities. I wanted to explore every piece of my life, so I learned everything I could. I found out that I could write longer stories. I started to write in a journal about everything in my life. Around this time, I found a class that focused on creative writing.
My senior year in high school, I completely loved world-building and character development. I learned how to enhance the senses in unique and descriptive ways. I started working on my first published book, “The Dark Corner”. I was inspired by Shakespeare and the play called “Macbeth”. I also develop my art skills, although I prefer to make 2D art. I was still struggling with depression and the beginnings of general anxiety.
Life in college dorms: Between classes and work, I had a lot of stress and anxiety. I had several panic attacks and anxiety attacks. Sometimes I would feel great about being away from home. Then I realized that I could publish my finished books through Kindle Fire’s ebook software. I want to challenge myself with each book, and I also want to explore my imagination. This is also when I met the love of my life; he is so handsome and wonderful.
I had to drop out of college in the end. Due to not getting the academic help I needed in class and I ran out of money to go to college. I thought that the tutors and other academic help were understaffed compared to the number of students. I still feel disappointed that I couldn’t complete my degree. If I try now, it will only add to the debt I already owe. In the future, I can change my mind, but I am happy with my daily learning path.
Current life: Since then, I have published a few more books. I plan on publishing more books as time goes on. The current therapy plan that I have is working. I always look back at my notes from each session. On my good days, I am productive and in good spirits. Sometimes I have difficulty sleeping due to stress or anxiety, which impacts the following day.
My sweet love gives me warm and comforting hugs when I need them, and when I think I don’t need them. On my bad days, I can barely do anything. When I get overwhelmed, it's like things are happening at once, and I shut down. Sometimes I can communicate my struggle, sometimes I can’t, and I just sit in silence. I am learning how to live with medical conditions that can be very frustrating and time-consuming. I am also learning how to communicate my struggle to my friends and family, so they can help me if needed.
My main goal is to balance out my emotions in difficult situations. I know that it is a challenge for everyone, even on their best days, but I want to have better control over my anxiety. Each day, I ask myself how I feel and what I would like to do. When I am not doing well, I try my best to do what I can. On my good days, I am busy and productive till late at night. I also want to keep developing my art skills through making more art.
Tips: If you are like me and you struggle with mental health, I do suggest therapy if possible. My therapists are understanding and open-minded, they always give me the clarity I try to find in life. I also suggest that you find out who you are as a human. Maybe it’s finding your religion or spirituality. It could be joining a group like the LGBTQIA+ or a local chess club. I am still finding new parts of myself, as well as learning something new each day.
These are some tips from (https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/five-steps-to-mental-wellbeing/):
Connect with other people. Good relationships are important for your mental well-being. They can:
Help you to build a sense of belonging and self-worth
Give you an opportunity to share positive experiences
Provide emotional support and allow you to support others
Be physically active. Being active is not only great for your physical health and fitness. Evidence also shows it can improve your mental well-being by:
raising your self-esteem
helping you to set goals or challenges and achieve them
causing chemical changes in your brain, which can help to positively change your mood
Give to others. Research suggests that acts of giving and kindness can help improve your mental well-being by:
creating positive feelings and a sense of reward
giving you a feeling of purpose and self-worth
helping you connect with other people
Examples:
saying thank you to someone for something they have done for you
asking friends, family or colleagues how they are and really listening to their answer
spending time with friends or relatives who need support or company
offering to help someone you know with DIY or a work project
volunteering in your community, such as helping at a school, hospital or care home
Pay attention to the present moment (mindfulness). Paying more attention to the present moment can improve your mental well-being. This includes your thoughts and feelings, your body and the world around you.
Some people call this awareness "mindfulness". Mindfulness can help you enjoy life more and understand yourself better. It can positively change the way you feel about life and how you approach challenges.
Read more about mindfulness, including steps you can take to be more mindful in your everyday life. (again source for the tips is: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/five-steps-to-mental-wellbeing/)
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