Worst fears and new hope
One of my fears is that I will have to kill to survive. I know if I really need to kill, I will have no other choice to make. I know that many people make that choice daily. I had a dream about seeing someone got shoot. It didn’t feel like a dream at first. I know I would never put myself in a dangerous situation like that.
I have seen the look on the face of a killer. It is like they have lost all humanity at their core. I am sure that there are killers alive today that would explain everything if you asked kindly. Killing someone will only happen if I have no other chose in how I save myself. I learned at a young age that there are evil people in this world. I will hold onto the belief that we become our worst fears when we give up on ourselves.
Another fear of mine is the fear of disappointing the closest people to me. As a kid, there was a lot of ideas and plans placed on me. As I got older I decided to make my own path in life and style. These days I try to look my age and have my own style. I think everyone has this feeling of trying to acheive as much as possible. I know that most will not agree to admit to it.
I am learning to trust myself and my instincts. I turn my attention to the present and the future. The past will only slow my progress down. If time moves on, then I should reflect and move on. I will continue to learn and explore what is around me. I also have learned how to read people’s boby language.
I’m still learning every little detail. Watching every move when I get the chance. Most will think that I am bored or lazy, but people watching takes a lot of attention and focus. I also think that the fear of disappointment comes from not getting enough love from parents or guardians. I find peace in the knowledge that I have my best friend as my sweet love. In time, my fears will change or fade away.
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